nobody puts falwell's bottom in the corner!

Bo Duke's Dick Lips

2005-04-26T19:35:00.000-07:00

I have been watching The Dukes of Hazzard of late. I think it’s a culmination of shock and awe really. Shock that it was made, that it had such great success and is now in syndication and awe that it was made, that it had such great success and is now in syndication.

Having said all of that, I can’t get past Bo Duke’s dick lips. He wears the same outfit in every single episode. I think Daisy Duke is the only one who changes clothing, but that’s neither here nor there. The issue is Bo Duke’s dick lips. His pants are like tunicates and he has lips. Was this an actor’s choice, or was this wardrobe’s choice? I mean it’s so obvious that Bo Duke has lips. You can’t miss them; they are in your face throughout every single episode.

I want to know if Bo Duke’s lips were a conscientious choice on his part. How did these pervasive dick lips come to pass? Who made the choice and why? Was there a writers meeting, or a creative meeting with the network brass? Was it during a viewing of the pilot, or the pilot presentation? Did the person who spoke up have to give a visual demonstration of the type of lips he was seeking in Bo Duke’s pants? Were the writers and network executives sitting around a conference room table post-viewing and have a full on conversation about Bo Duke’s dick lips?

Network Executive:
“Hey, Gy, I don’t mean to be a sticky wicket here, but ah, I think we really need to see more lip coming from Bo Duke.”

Gy Waldron:
“More lip?”

Network Executive:
“Yeah, you know, in his pants. We need to see an ever present crotch. Something that really says, Bo Duke has one.”

Gy Waldron:
“Okay, I’m hearing you. Are you thinking of a jock strap, or a cock ring, something that brings his crotch forward?”

Network Executive:
“No, no, definitely not that. I’m thinking more lip.”

Gy Waldron:
“Lip?”

So, at that point did the network executive turn around, put his hand down his pants and separate his ball sack so that one ball would be on one side of the seam and another ball on the other side of the seam and then zip up and turn around and fervently proclaim, “Like this?!” and point to his crotch?

Did everyone gaze at his groin curiously? Did everyone jump on board and wail, “Love it.”

Or was this an actor’s choice? And if it was the actors choice, didn’t anyone feel compelled to say anything to Bo Duke like, “Hey, Bo, you’re sportin’ quite a crotch there. Are you sure you want to do that? And if Bo Duke did make a conscious choice to create his dick lips did he feel that those lips were the embodiment of the character or was it an ego thing? Or, was it wardrobe? Did they watch Bo Duke get dressed and adjust his groin to create the bold dick lip affect?

I just want to know who made the dick lip decision because those lips are a train wreck that you can’t get past and the primary demographic who watched The Dukes of Hazzard were straight men, not gay men.

2005-04-19T12:56:00.000-07:00

I think I feel badly because one of the blog search engine webmasters sent me this note regarding listing me:

Blogging can be quite time consuming when done properly as you know.

yiddish

2005-04-06T11:05:00.000-07:00

Someone asked me today if Yiddish was my first language. I'm not sure if he's stupid, or I am.

2005-04-06T06:04:00.000-07:00

Word on the street is a Jew made it on the Papal ballet, the French frocked virgin. It's all very exciting, especially for a Jew broad like me.

Do we know why onlookers attending the pope's funeral are called pilgrims? It seems very, let's-lure-them, sort of like the Thanksgiving-let's-kill-the-native-americans to me.

Jennings has lung casino. I'll be the first to admit it freaked me out.

No update on Falwell's gaymonia.

Let me tell ya what's creepy, a body suspension conference. Some creepy tatted up nutcase hang in the superman pose on fish hooks and declared it 'the best feeling ever.' I'm thinkin' masochist and stayin' that way.

Introduction

2005-03-31T07:25:00.000-08:00

Falwell's got gaymonia. Are we surprised? I don't think so. I was a proud Falwell bottom at the supple age of 14. I was a choir boy filled with promise and potential. I sang my little heart out for three straight years. One day, Falwell called me into his office with the promise of advancement. Boy was I titilated. I was getting my big break. I nervously inched into his office and was greeted with Falwell's warm smile and jolly personality. He asked me to close the door. I did, and then he urged me to sit across from him. I did. He said, "Sonny." That's what he called me, Sonny. "Sonny, I think it's time you learn the harmonica." At first I winced, the harmonica?! I wanted to play the organ, and boy did I ever!!!